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XXxEmo-GurlxX

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FML!!!

1 min read
Alright so I won't be on this profile for awhile I'll be on my other dA. I'll send my peeps a note as to what my username is. X3
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Do you know that feeling that no one gives two shits about you? I mean seriously it makes you want to blow your fucking brains out... I was just in a hospital for two weeks... No one missed me... Just like I expected... Why'd they call the hospital if they didn't care?
 I feel like I'm screaming and no one decides to listen. Am I really that worthless that they can't even at least PRETEND to care? I'm mean really? I know I'm useless, but there's no need to point that out to my fucking face. I'm far from alright right now. If you're reading this, thanks. You may or may not care. (Most likely not.)
 

 ...

 Whenever someone says I'm pretty or beautiful or smart I either hear it as a sarcastic remark or I thin-KNOW that they're lying. When someone says they like/love me I laugh inside. Liars. Good luck. It's like I'm a fucking plague that everyone avoids. Or maybe a puddle of quick sand. Once they're friends with me they immediately want out, but the harder they struggle to be popular again they can't. They're suddenly an official outcast. 

These are some of the reasons why I tried 4 times to get the Hell out of this fucking hateful world. No one knows the fucking pain I feel. NOBODY. Not even my closest friends. Not even my BOYFRIEND know what I think of myself... They don't know I'm starving myself slowly and on the rare times that I eat I usually find the first chance I get to purge that shitty poison called "food" out of my goddamn system. They don't know my cutting has gotten so much fucking worse. They don't know I'm back to my anorexic self. They don't know I blame myself for my ex-boyfriend's suicide. They don't know I think I deserve every single horrible thing that's happened to me... And I don't want them to pretend to worry about me. I don't them to go through the trouble of that again.

{{ - If you're still reading this I'm sorry it's so long, but thank you for reading this long. ;-; - }}

I don't know how I feel anymore...Numb, I guess... It hurts to breathe... The other day I thought I cracked one of my ribs or some shit, but NO. It was just the fact that I'm still fucking breathing and living because people want to seem like good people by pretending to care and "saving" me.
 All I really know right now is that my boyfriend's going to most likely break up with me soon for someone a lot better, my friends are going to leave me the first chance they get, and I'm, not going to make it passed the age of 17...
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Heya peoples! Sorry I haven't been on so much but a lots going on in my life right now... :/ The bullying's as bad as ever, I sprained my wrist, Stefen moved away :(, but I'm now dating an  awesome guy Noah and today a bitchy little girl told me Noah cheated on me, I almost commit suicide last week and I now have retarded afterschool classes that my friends drag me out of then I get in trouble for not going to the classes even though my grades went up...a lot... Whatever... fuck my life I'm just gonna type up some more songs and maybe a story or two and post them on her. Anyways, thanks for reading my rant about myself.XD
Peace,
          :iconsadkarkatplz:
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Pride
[ ] You carry a mirror everywhere.
[ ] You carry beauty supplies everywhere.
[ ] You put others down.
[ ] You flaunt or brag about yourself.
[ ] The only topic that interests you is you.
[ ] You don't listen to others problems.
[ ] You wear booty shorts.
[X] You wear makeup. (only eye liner :I)
[ ] You enjoy attention.
[ ] You like to do things YOUR way and YOUR way only.
Result: 1

Envy
[X] You feel negative about your body image.
[X] You don't have a lot of money.
[X] You don't have good grades.
[/] You're insecure.
[X] Your living conditions aren't the best.
[X] You cry a lot.(Shhhhhhhhhhhooooooossshhhhh)
[XXXX] You are bullied.
[ ] You've never been in a real relationship or have been in a bad one. 
[X] You don't attract all the girls/boys.
[/] You think everyone else has better things.(not everyone)
Results: 8

Gluttony
[X] You eat a lot.
[ ] You always get more than what you need.
[X] You always have snacks around your house.
[X] You drink a lot.
[ ] You always have a granola bar or something in your purse.
[ ] You hide food.
[ ] You binge-eat.
[ ] You are normally warm.
[X] You can crack a lot of your bones.
[X] You often say, "I'm starving...."
Results: 5

Lust
[ ] You are very sexually active.
[ ] You have had three or more girlfriends/boyfriends.
[ ] You wear matching underwear.
[/] You wear a lot of makeup.(a lot of eye liner]
[ ] You have fetishes.
[ ] You have looked up porn.
[X} You are a fan of Yaoi/Yuri.
[X] You have '"fantasized".(who hasn't?)
Results: 2.5

Wrath
[ ] You have not had a real relationship.
[ ] You go to anger management classes/used to
[X] You have to take special pills.
[/] You are aggressive. (Sometimes]
[X] You hate someone (Who doesn't?)
[X] You have hurt someone - physically or mentally. (Physically, but onoly my friends. We joke around WAY TOO MUCH XD)
[/] You back-talk people.
[X] You have gotten detention before.
[X] You get into fights - verbal or physical. (Mostly verbal)
[////] You are strong. (IDK...I...guess... :I)
Results: 6.5

Greed
[ ] You often buy things.
[X] You [often] WANT instead of NEED.
[/] You have expensive things.
[ ] You put yourself before others.
[/] You can tend to be a little rude.
[ ] You don't try to save money.
[ ] You own more than two cars.
[ ] You own more than two credit cards.
[ ] You always have to look the best
Results: 2

Sloth
[/] You don't do gym in school
[X] You don't have the best grades.
[XXX] You procrastinate.
[X] You go to bed at ten p.m.  
[/] You often take naps. (Only after school and in class sometimes)
[X] You fall asleep in classes.
[X] You're often called lazy.
[X] You don't participate in class.
[X] You do the minimum amount of work.
[X] You seldom go to church. (More like NEVER)
Results: 9

Sloth then Envy... Damn...


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So I was reading an old South Park fan fiction I wrote with the lyrics and shit, so it basically inspired me to write a story with characters form my new obsession, Homestuck :D 
  I don't really ship Davekat too much (I'm more of a Gamkar fan >u< ), but my friend does... A LOT so ideas flooded and my brain drowned X3
 ANYWAYS, I'M GOING TO TRY WRITING THIS STORY EITHER TOMARROW OR I'LL WRITE IT IN A NOTEBOOK AND POST IT MONDAY. ;)




 :iconpervygamzeeplz: and :iconpervykarkatplz: = FOREVER! XD
:iconsaderidanplz: > Lovve me...
:iconangrykarkatplz: > NO!!
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FML!!! by XXxEmo-GurlxX, journal

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